I have been trying to post blogs more regularly but I’m finding it a little hard to come up with topics that don’t feel forced. I have a few blog posts in the works but I’m just not feeling them at the moment and I don’t want to share something with you if I’m not 100% feeling it. So, I thought that I would share a few things that I have learned. Just a heads up, this might be a long one so grab a drink, get comfy and settle in. I’ll wait while you grab a drink….I’m considerate like that…. okay, ready?
This is what I know:
People are shit. I tell this to everyone in my life, especially when they have been hurt by someone’s actions. It is one of the first things that comes out of my mouth and I’m finding myself saying it more regularly. Everyone is out for themselves. There must be something in the water. I feel that this is a part of human nature; we have the ability to be kind and selfless but more often than not we say/do shitty things. It is very rare to find people who genuinely want to help you grow. But when you do, hang on for dear life and do not let them go. There is nothing wrong with being out for yourself if that’s what you choose to do, maybe just be honest about it. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather someone be straight up with me then get caught up in all the bullshit, trying to figure out what happened. It is such a waste of energy.
People don’t fucking listen. This drives me nuts. They only partially hear something you say which is often not what you want them to focus on. I honestly spend at least half of my day repeating myself to others. I understand that we all think we are so busy and have to multitask all the time because that’s what you are supposed to do. So much time and energy would be saved if we honestly just took the time and just listened to each other. I would own a small island if I got a dollar for every time the words “I just said that” fall out of my mouth. I am learning not to fire up and jump down people’s throats when I have to repeat myself. I am not responsible for what information others take in. Luckily humans love repetition so it will eventually sink in, but until then I will patiently repeat myself again and again and again. I will patiently repeat myself again and again and again. Just messing with you.
Do what you gotta do. Sometimes we just have to do what we feel is right even if it doesn’t make much sense. Sometimes we have to be selfish. Sometimes we have to say no. Sometimes we have to ask others to give us space. Sometimes we need to be alone. Sometimes we need to be all up in someone’s face asking questions so that we understand better. Sometimes we need to go and buy a new outfit to feel better. Sometimes we need to be blunt. Sometimes we need to withdraw. Sometimes we need to eat our feelings. And that is perfectly okay. This one has taken me a bloody long time to be okay with. I still struggle sometimes and stress what other people are going to think. But you know what? They are never thinking what you think they are. Your head is being a jerk. If you just ask them what they are thinking you will often find that what they are thinking is something entirely different and actually, has nothing to do with you. Even if they were judging you, who gives a fuck?! It’s just a thought, they are fleeting and often change. Plus you don’t want people in your life who judge you, you want to surround yourself with people who accept and support you.
Anxiety is a dick. It affects way too many of us. It makes functioning harder. It can destroy you if you let it. You can’t control it, but you can do many things to dull its noise. You just have to find what works for you. Anxiety is normal. There is nothing wrong with you for having it. Sometimes it’s important to feel it, to understand your triggers and reactions, to know what it feels like and come out the other side knowing that you are strong and you survived. I know that sometimes that’s easier said than done. And boy do I hate my high anxiety moments but I’m also grateful for them for some reason that I haven’t over analysed yet. I have faith that with every anxious moment I have, the stronger I become, the more I understand and the easier it will be for me to get through it. Anxiety is still a dick though.
Risking it if you are DF & GF is never worth it. I’m always saying oh it’s worth it for the little bit of chocolate or whole bag of Malteasers. You know what? It’s NOT worth it. The discomfort lasts way longer than the happiness that those treats bring. I say this now, but I can guarantee you that sometime in the next week I will eat something that with give me grief. I will never learn (in the mean time, thank god for digestive enzyme tablets).
Some days are easier than others and that is okay. It’s okay if your only achievement of the day is getting out of bed or showering. Some days it’s all about putting one foot in front of the other. Not every day has to be filled with smashing goals and taking on the world. We have to stop this bullshit thinking, its unsustainable. We cant put this kind of pressure on ourselves. We will drive ourselves into the ground. Most things take time to reach fruition. Embrace the hard days, flip those days the bird and take comfort in whatever you can to get through, knowing that tomorrow is another day. Another day to try again, another day improve, another day to get closer to where you want to be. Whatever it is, tomorrow is a fresh start. Even if tomorrow is another bad day, that’s okay too. You will get there.
I told you this was a long one and I’m not even finished! Don’t panic, I wont make you read anymore. I forgive you for stopping half way through to top up your drink. More of what I know to come later in the week.